Monday, December 17, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Bitchin' in the Kitchen
Ah yes. . . Rex is really king of the talk show hosts. In Canada, anyway. Cross Country Check-Up is actually a fantastic show. It doesn't HAVE to be biased. . . yet. . . I have to congratulate the call screeners. They're doing a fantastic job. Our local mathematician, here in the St. Mike's area, has calculated that if a poll was done on the same night after "checkup" aired, the Liberals would go up ten whole points. The power of the media! Next week I'm going to lie and then perhaps the screeners will let me on. "Oh God yes, Stephen Harper has to be the worst PM ever to not go jogging! He secretly wishes global warming would increase. He cheats at chess and he once had a homosexual affair with a jewel thief. (I believe his name was Swhere, or Swhen or swom other NDP- M.P.!) Anyway, King Rex, that was a good interview you did with "ROCK-A-BULLY" Williams considering it's almost impossible to get a word in edgewise with him around.
I tried listening to "checkup" yesterday but for obvious reasons I just COULD NOT! So, instead, I threw a hunk of salt cod in a pot of boiling water, (None of that nandy-pandy soaking over-night for me. . . not while my blood is also boiling!) Chopped a whole onion to the frying pan, salted and peppered it the same way the Liberals stole our tax dollars. . . with reckless abandon! Fried a bunch of salt pork to a crisp on another pan, saving the grease of course. Added water, butter and a bit of flour to the onions, making it into "drawn butter", mashed potatoes and. . . Jesus, Mary and Joseph. . . reevin dines by! (slurp!) I gotta go now 'fore I turns up missing!
Dimmy
I tried listening to "checkup" yesterday but for obvious reasons I just COULD NOT! So, instead, I threw a hunk of salt cod in a pot of boiling water, (None of that nandy-pandy soaking over-night for me. . . not while my blood is also boiling!) Chopped a whole onion to the frying pan, salted and peppered it the same way the Liberals stole our tax dollars. . . with reckless abandon! Fried a bunch of salt pork to a crisp on another pan, saving the grease of course. Added water, butter and a bit of flour to the onions, making it into "drawn butter", mashed potatoes and. . . Jesus, Mary and Joseph. . . reevin dines by! (slurp!) I gotta go now 'fore I turns up missing!
Dimmy
Monday, April 9, 2007
Still Saving French Asses
Wow! Vimy Ridge! 90 years ago today! ..."A defining moment." ..."The birth of a nation." ..."A proud, young dominion." ..."A glorious victory." ..."A momentous act of sacrifice."
Yeah, right!
It was'nt the first time Canadians saved French asses, and it would'nt be the last! Fast forward about twenty-five years and once again we have Germans in France, with Parisian women comforting, cavorting with and cajoling the invaders so they can beg or steal a few morsels of food to throw to their men cowering under their beds. Nine hundred Canadians died in one day at Dieppe saving French asses! Another glorious moment for a proud, young dominion.
Yeah, right!
Let's fast forward another sixty-odd years to yesterday. April 8th 2007. Yesterday, six Canadian soldiers died in Afghanistan. That makes it over 50 dead Canadians and about a thousand wounded. The French have suffered one casualty in Afghanistan: He got his head caught in a French tank turret as it swung around. He was toast! (Please, no jokes, please!)
The Canadians are in Southern Afghanistan, where the Taliban is. The French troops (still hiding under beds) are in Northern Afghanistan where the Taliban is not! The French heroes wont even go out after dark! There are even places in Northern Afghanistan deemed too dangerous for French feet to tread! It's a bit ironic that France's old enemy, Germany, is also up there in the relatively safe north cowering right along with them.
I wonder if six dead Canadian soldiers is enough to constitute a "defining moment"? Is six enough dead bodies to be able to use words like "Glorious" or "Momentous" like we've been hearing all day at the Vimy ceremonies. Sunday, April 8th 2007. Six young, Canadian men will never again see their loved ones. Never again hear Don Cherry rant. Never again swim, fish, skate on or drink Canadian water. Never again feel the green, green grass of Canada. Six young, Canadian men were blown to smithereens. It was a glorious and momentous day. . .
Yeah, right!
Dimmy
Yeah, right!
It was'nt the first time Canadians saved French asses, and it would'nt be the last! Fast forward about twenty-five years and once again we have Germans in France, with Parisian women comforting, cavorting with and cajoling the invaders so they can beg or steal a few morsels of food to throw to their men cowering under their beds. Nine hundred Canadians died in one day at Dieppe saving French asses! Another glorious moment for a proud, young dominion.
Yeah, right!
Let's fast forward another sixty-odd years to yesterday. April 8th 2007. Yesterday, six Canadian soldiers died in Afghanistan. That makes it over 50 dead Canadians and about a thousand wounded. The French have suffered one casualty in Afghanistan: He got his head caught in a French tank turret as it swung around. He was toast! (Please, no jokes, please!)
The Canadians are in Southern Afghanistan, where the Taliban is. The French troops (still hiding under beds) are in Northern Afghanistan where the Taliban is not! The French heroes wont even go out after dark! There are even places in Northern Afghanistan deemed too dangerous for French feet to tread! It's a bit ironic that France's old enemy, Germany, is also up there in the relatively safe north cowering right along with them.
I wonder if six dead Canadian soldiers is enough to constitute a "defining moment"? Is six enough dead bodies to be able to use words like "Glorious" or "Momentous" like we've been hearing all day at the Vimy ceremonies. Sunday, April 8th 2007. Six young, Canadian men will never again see their loved ones. Never again hear Don Cherry rant. Never again swim, fish, skate on or drink Canadian water. Never again feel the green, green grass of Canada. Six young, Canadian men were blown to smithereens. It was a glorious and momentous day. . .
Yeah, right!
Dimmy
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Bottoms Up
A Few weeks ago on CBC radio the lady broadcaster said, and I quote, "Mavor Moore has died, butt first. . ." then she was talking about something else. I pondered over my breakfast how a person might accomplish (if that's the word) such an exit? As I forked a lump of egg, the old "what came first" riddle went through my mind. The big question of course is: can a body somehow control what part goes first. In the overall scheme of things this could be a question of the utmost importance. If there actually is anything after death, I'm sure we would all like to make that great first impression. Arriving butt first may not be the ideal way. "Hey Pete, make sure that fat hairy ass keeps floatin' right on by!" Anyway, I've gotta go to bed now, but first. . . I think I'll have another wee nip o' nog.
Dimmy
Dimmy
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