Twilight Of The Gods

God always speaks in parables:

"I just want to get the car out of the ditch and not have a big can dragging behind it for years."

"Sometimes you have to make a deal with the Devil to get out of Hell."

"A coalition if necessary, but not necessarily a coalition."

"They think I'm part of a triadic, but their triadic is destined to become a gruesome twosome. . . a random tandem. . . a brace of disgrace."

For almost 40 years God was not in Canada. God was away!
God never heard of Rene Levesque, Jacques Parizeau or Lucien Bouchard. God doesn't know a thing about the ferocious fight between Trudeau and the above mentioned Quebec
Separatists. God thought that "Trudeau" was a place to water horses. God thought that a "Separatist" was a person who worked with eggs in the meringue section of a bakery. God had never heard of Sussix Drive. God was spending most of his time in the Marquee Club near Carnaby Street. God was more interested in birds than chicks. God wasn't residing in Canada. God was away!

God is back! Now God wants to save Canada from economic disaster! God often scolds Prime Minister Harper and tries to give him a lot of economic advice. God is not an economist. . . Prime Minister Harper is. . . so that's a lot like Olivia Chow telling Sid The Kid how to play hockey!

When God looked into all the hopeful Liberal faces and said, "A coalition if necessary, but not necessarily a coalition", he told them all to make sure they repeated it over and over and over on all TV and radio interviews, "Because," he said, "It took me five hours last night for my wife to come up with it!"

When God was contemplating whether or not to climb into bed with the Quebec Separatists, it was Ralph Goodale who said, "Oh God! No!. . . a thousand times no!"
Ralph had always been a Canadian and always lived in Canada. He knows what the voters of the other nine provinces and territories think of the Quebec Separatists! God wasn't around during the tumultuous referendum times. God did join up with the Quebec Separatists! God couldn't see the perils. God was away!

However, God is only an interim God! Within the Liberal ranks a funny thing is happening on the way to May. The so-called grass roots of the party are taking a second look at God and an awful lot of them are becoming atheists! A lot of them are making Good Ale their lager of choice! Goodale hates the Quebec Separatists and was dead-set against sucking up to them! Also, they all know, in The House, when the chips are down, and the temperature is up, nobody. . . nobody says it like Goodale!

God just might be going away again! Bye God!

Dimmy

No fat. No lean

Traitor Jack could eat no fat,
Olivia could eat no lean.
So they teamed up with the Separatists,
To pick Canadian voters clean.

They want to give unlimited power,
To the Separatist leader, Gilles Duceppe.
Who'll be able to say, yea or nay,
In THE HOUSE, where he's most inept.

Then they want to build a pipeline,
From Canada to Quebec.
And there'll be more loonies flowing,
Than smoke, through Rene Levesque.

But Traitor Jack and the Chow-Chow gal
Have forgotten an important lesson,
When the Canadian voter has said what it wants,
TRAITORS! YOU DON'T GO MESSIN'

So pack your suitcase, Traitor Jack,
Oh, and here's a bit of trivia.
If you want to be certain it's all packed right,
Make sure you stuff in Olivia!

Dimmy